Sunday, September 20, 2009

Topless Tutoring

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Tuesday, May 19, 2009

What not to do on a first date?

Never ever do these things unless you’re not interested in the person. And if you’re not interested, why not save you both the time; grab your balls (or tits) and say so!

This applies to men and women.

DO NOT Talk about your ex. – I know. You’ve heard this one a thousand times but how many times do you find yourself caught up in a moment. Just save them for another time. You do not want to spend half of your new relationship talking about an old one. If you haven’t dropped off some of your baggage prior to this date, you don’t have enough arms left to pickup anymore.

DO NOT Tell your entire life story. – This is a first date. This person is not your psychologist and will not be turned on by hearing every little thing about you during a meal. Also, without mystery, what reason does this person have to schedule a second date, duh!

DO NOT Ask too many f-ing questions. – You are not interviewing someone for a job, you’re out to have a good and flirtatious time. Just like you do not want to divulge every little thing about you in one encounter, you definitely do not want to know every little thing about your date in one setting.

DO NOT Establish routines early. – When you ask someone out, avoid doing the same things at the same time and ordering the same meals every time you two are together. It’s cute to have a “thing”, but to do that “thing” as if there is no other thing is just plain stupid.

DO NOT Check out other people. – Unless you are horrible t verbal communication and are attempting to let your date know that you are NOT interested, there is no reason to do this. Check out people on your own time. Dedicate this time to your date. Examine him or her closely. If this is someone that you have no desire to admire this early on, why haven’t you left yet?

DO NOT Send mixed signals about the next date. – If you’re interested (or not), just say so. Don’t make determining whether or not to meet again a mystery. This is one issue that you should be very clear about.

DO NOT Jump start the conversation by starting with religion and politics. – Even jumping into social issues is a big no-no. Discuss something in between these and the weather, so that you’re not bored but you’re not livid either.

DO NOT Eat your date’s dessert. – This is an exchange often played up in films and this works every time because it takes place in a movie, not in real life, a movie.

DO NOT Say, “I’ll call you.” – This phrase is completely avoidable, never use it. If you’re not interested in your date, you should not have stayed long enough to be tempted to go there and these words should just never be uttered together when on a date. If you’re not interested, the words that should come out of your mouth should be, “I’m not interested.” Which leads me to the most important rule of dating…

DO Say what you honestly feel. – Both sexes are tired of being bs’ed. If you’re not interested, say so, and vice versa.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Killing Craigslist

I can not believe that the best solution that the man could think of included persuading the head of Craigslist to close down the erotic section of the site. That makes about as much as sense as saying, "someone was killed in a Burger King parking lot, so we should close down all Burger King Parking lots." Not only is this is far from problem solving, it presents yet another problem... of the "Quick Fix America Syndrome". If you want to correct and long-term problem, the solution deserves time to really get down and dirty to clear up any residual messes so that the long-term problem does not return with a Godzilla-sized vengeance.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Take A Little Time To Clean Your Recyclables


In what America considers to be, and uses as her own personal dumpsters, live people who spend their days cleaning out or recyclables.

We are definitely not the only ones who ship our recycling off to other countries, but from what I have recently experienced we are the only ones that dispose of our recyclables without cleaning them.

I spent a couple of years living in France and a couple in Germany and in both places, three things always took place with respect to recyclables: (1) they were placed into individual bins (i.e.: white glass, aluminum, paper, packaging, etc.); (2) the recyclables were not placed inside of bags that were of a different makeup (i.e.: putting plastic bottles inside of a paper bag); and (3) recyclables with perishable items were always cleaned prior to disposal. I asked over and over again, “Why is this necessary? We never do this in the U.S.,” this was always the response that I received.

Modern technology is still not able to clean and sort our recyclables one hundred percent. This is why people are required in order to take out recyclables out of packaging that may not be recycled the same way (if at all) and must empty out massive amounts of remains by hand prior to recycling the products. As Americans, we believe there is the magical place where garbage goes, never to return again. If you do not recycle, you need to start today. If you do recycle, take a little time to rinse out or completely use up whatever is inside of your recyclable materials.


Saturday, April 18, 2009

...because balance is the key.

Let's balance the state of the economy, the environment and everything else…

Speak out for the environment. Even though we are told that actions speak louder than words, we continue to ignore the intense cries shooting out of the pores of mother earth, in order to indulge in our short-term conveniences.

Reuse. Reduce. Recycle. Just like your body holds the story of your life, mother earth holds the history of our actions and each person should defend, protect and nurture his/her temple as often as possible.

With regards to global warming, stop talking and heed the impassioned warnings flowing continuously out of the mouth of Al Gore, which all bog down to one thing…. Stop Talking and Do Something!

We are running out of time and when we are all drowning, burning, starving or any other number of slow torturous deaths that will be our rewards as a result of our actions, we will have no reason to complain and no one to blame but ourselves.

This piece of artwork is one of a series from my collection of the future of our environment. In our throw away society, I see the world filled with trees and other shrubbery made from garbage because we will not have any where else to put it. And “You don’t me” is one of many slogans that I painted onto my creation made out of other people’s garbage.

If you are rich enough to follow through with my next idea, than just do it: (1) create and organization and have the appropriate permits and what not so this is executed on excellent terms; (2) collect donations from your friends, I don’ care how, but just get it done (via parties and what not). (3) Then during a press conference, offer it to the U.S, economy as a gi-normous (combination of enormous and gigantic) donation to be used only to pay off the debt. Not money to bail out businesses that are stuck in the past. Not to continue raising the salaries of the CEOs and those two steps behind them. Not for anything else that sounds stupid. Only use these funds as a donation towards an immediate improvement in a shitty situation. And if you and your friends are still feeling generous, then donate to your hometown, city, and state. You should know what’s needed where you live.

Speaking of money in your hometowns, one great way to help out is to get involved in local grocers and make an abundance of healthy foods available to people in low income neighborhoods. Continue to talk about our obesity epidemic is the reason that it hasn’t changed.

Children, hell, people need to exercise daily. They need to have healthy eating lifestyles and they need to eat healthy foods. And every time that the economy goes in the crapper or more people find themselves on the lower end of the economic stick, they eat what fills them up. And in poor neighborhoods, frozen meals and fast foods are always affordable.

Say no to the Food Modernization and Safety Act of 2009. It not only targets organic farmers, but also makes it illegal to grow produce in your own backyard for the purpose of consumption.

Let's balance the state of the economy, the environment and everything else…

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Short Summary of Last Night's American Idol Performances

Let me start by saying, either way this group will be going on tour and the singles that they are currently releasing already give most of them a better chance of having a music career since this exposure is hard not to see (even if you don't care).

Overall, last night's performances were just a non-eventful as most Hollywood films. I do enjoy Quentin Tarantino and his work and actually found him to be one of the more credible guest coaches on the show. He didn't hesitate to say, who his favorites were and give each singer constructuve criticism.

Performace order is as follows and the numbers refer to my rating on a scale of 1 to 7 (with 1 being the best) and a one-word summary of the contestant's performance:

Alison - engaging (3)
Anoop - soulful (5)
Adam - damn (1)
Matt - searching (7)
Danny - focused (6)
Kris - inspired (4)
Lil - Passionate (2)

Saturday, April 4, 2009

What if...

What if …

Your partner didn’t like your pet. Would you get rid of the pet?

No. First of all, the pet should be introduced to the potential spouse long before s/he becomes a spouse. If the pet is new, then the couple should go pet shopping together. This question addresses an old family friend. If I hid my beloved pet from my beloved spouse, then what else could I be hiding? And if the pet is not found of the spouse that is a sign of potential marital issues (aside from the lying) that should be investigated sooner or later. How do I know this? I know this because pets adopt their owner’s stronger characteristics as their main characteristics. As long as the pet owner has been up front and honest with his/her new spouse, the threesome should have no issues living happily ever after.